i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
