He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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