Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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