I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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