But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
