I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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