Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
