question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
