I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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