Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
