I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
