We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i believe in u and ur pee
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
