I just pynch a tree in the face
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
