Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
