the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
