i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
