what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
