We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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