That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
True strength comes from lack of pants
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
