I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
