I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
