I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
