saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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