Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
