Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
