YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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