"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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