Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
