I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
