Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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