My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
