i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
