That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Pappa wants mamma naked
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
