My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
should my penis look like a turkey
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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