We won't sleep together?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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