Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
