i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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