i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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