Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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