I just saw a hot homeless man
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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