I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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