She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize