dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
