I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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