i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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