wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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