my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
