Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
