so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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