yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
