handjob tips. give me some.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
